I have been trying to get to know some people at our local basketball court. Last night I heard names being used; this seems rare. As I look back, I don't know if they were used to directly address a person as much as they were used to talk about a person. There was no doubt most of them knew each other; sometimes I don't think the people at the court are as familiar with each other. Interestingly, no one ever asked my name, and I never introduced myself either. I was referred to as "the old guy," "him," or "that guy." I was never addressed directly by any name or title; they didn't call me "old guy" to my face.
I wonder why I never offered my name. At one point I was tempted when the three of us who biked were the last to leave. If we were at church, I would have given my name. I introduce myself to guests all the time. Of course, I am on my own turf there, and I don't want to have barriers between people there. But at the basketball court, there are many social barriers as I wrote previously, and for some reason I kept my name quiet. I did say my name to 2-3 people a couple of weeks ago, but this time I kept quiet to this group of 9-10. Is this a "male" thing? Is this a "turf" thing? Is this a "family" thing? (When I was young, my father never really used names too often; you sometimes had to guess to whom he was speaking.)
For that moment last night, I kept on my side of the barrier by not offering my name. They did likewise, though as I wrote earlier, I sensed the barriers with that group of guys was not quite so high.
When do you give a name? When don't you? What's your answer?